Do People Tell Us the Truth in Counseling?

Do people tell us the truth in counseling?
          A) Never
          B) Sometimes
          C) Eventually
          D) Always
          E) All of the above
Usually people come to us with symptoms, what some prefer to call a “presenting problem”. This presenting problem is usually not the root of the issue. When a counselor anticipates this may happen, he or she can be better prepared to deal with the reality of what is happening in the counseling sessions.

During counseling, it is not abnormal to discover something about the person you are counseling after you have been counseling them for several sessions. To someone who hasn’t been involved very long as a counselor or a pastor for whom counseling is only a small part of ministry, this may come as a surprise. 

Counseling is often like peeling back the layers of an onion—people may seek help, but they are not usually willing to open up with the real issues of their heart until trust has been established and they feel they are in a safe environment with their counselor.

Sometimes people will test a counselor by presenting a problem they don’t have so they can evaluate the counselor. It seems that quite often in counseling, a number of games may be played.

I believe it is essential that Christian counselors follow the standard of Scripture and practice genuine concern and honesty with their counselees. It may take us longer to help more reluctant people (than, say, people who are in the midst of a crisis), however, the help they seek can be provided if we do not lose heart in the process.

There is a specific verse that is especially encouraging for those engaged in Christian counseling. The context may not be directly related to counseling, but it is definitely a transferable truth that is applicable to the counselor. Paul says in Galatians 6:10, “So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.”

People may not reveal enough information soon enough to us. They may even distort the truth about their lives. However, if trust is earned and a safe environment exists in the counseling context, they will (with God’s help and our faithfulness) eventually touch the root of the problem.

Be encouraged that they sought counseling—it is a process wherein time is our friend and not our enemy. We do need patience, and God can teach us to have patience by giving us the grace to keep on keeping on in the work of counseling until, in His time, he brings healing.

James Rudy Gray is certified as a professional counselor by the National Board for Certified Counselors, and is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. He pastors Utica Baptist Church in Seneca, S.C